Shona watched as Kenny strolled up the path with Hugh.
“The hunter has returned,” he shouted as he came through the door. Kenny came into the living room and dropped the bundle of food, wrapped in layers of paper on the table. “Dinner is served.”
“Do you really think we’ve been sitting here waiting for you to come home with a bag of chips? We’ve eaten thanks very much.”
“Fair enough,” said Kenny. “All the more for me.”
“What did you get?” asked Shona.
“Chip supper for me, Steak pie supper for you and a sausage supper for Colin.”
“He never eats two of those sausages,” she said.
“Just one sausage, I got a half sausage supper,” Kenny corrected himself.
“Well, I suppose there’s no point in it going to waste. Sit down Shagger and I’ll put the kettle on.”
“Keeps saying she’s going on a diet,” said Kenny after she left the room. “And then she eats this lot.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have got it for her then,” said Hugh.
“Are you kidding? If I didn’t, she’d have eaten half of mine. Her idea of cutting back is washing a pie supper down with a can of diet coke.”
Hugh laughed. Shona didn’t look the best she’d ever done but then again Kenny wasn’t wearing too well either.
Shona appeared from the kitchen. “Is he slagging me off?” she asked Hugh.
“Course not darling,” said Kenny.
“I know you were. You shouldn’t do that in front of someone. It’s not right.”
“You were in the kitchen.”
“I mean in front of Shagger you halfwit.”
“He doesn’t mind. Do you Shagger?”
Shona laughed but slapped him across the head as she passed him. “Cheeky bastard.”
She shouted upstairs to Colin. “Your dad’s bought you a Sausage supper.”
“I'm not hungry,” he shouted back.
“Right,” said Shona as she sat down. “Does anyone want some extra chips and I’ll take the sausage.”
Kenny winked over at Hugh who was trying to avoid eye contact.
“Where did you two losers go today?” Shona asked.
“Just down the club.”
“You didn’t get soaked walking back from there,” she said.
“Well,” said Kenny. “We talk a walk down to the grotto and got caught in the rain on the way back.”
“I’ll bet you didn’t tell Armando that when you were getting the chips. We were away smashing up one of your holy sites Armando, plenty of vinegar on mine.”
“We didn’t smash it up,” said Kenny.
“It’s got all sorts of protection now,” said Hugh. “We couldn’t get near it.”
“Good,” said Shona. “It’s about time you lot grew up.”
Hugh finished his dinner and left to head back down to the club for the committee meeting.
“I wish you wouldn’t hang around with him so much,” said Shona, after Hugh left.
“Do you know he tried to kill himself today!” said Kenny. “Seriously, he did. He needed a bit of company.”
“How come he didn’t succeed?” asked Shona.
“Don’t be like that.”
“Well, come on! How many people try and kill themselves and then just go for pint and a fish supper instead?”
“Anyway, who else would I hang out with in Pitside?” said Kenny.
“There’s a wee guy called Colin upstairs! He quite likes football.”
“It’s been raining,” said Kenny.
“On his PS2! Fifa World Cup!”
“Aw Christ Shona,” said Kenny as he reluctantly dragged himself out of his seat and headed up the stairs.
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